I have a friend, author/lecturer John Cox who tells me there are 44 things you can do, that will change your life, for the better. So far he has only told me one of them: smile when you first get up in the morning. So now when I first awaken, I sit on the edge of my bed before putting on my slippers and I just sit for a moment and smile. It is such a nice feeling. Now I am finding myself even doing it, on occasion throughout the day. It must release some endorphins or something, because there is a nice calming effect that comes over me. It's peaceful.
This made me think of similar daily acts. I have a mission to enlist people to send a heartfelt, personal card a day. On average, a person will send about 10 cards per year. That's less than a card a month, on average. "Why would you send a card a day?" you might ask. Well, can you remember the times you've gone to the mail box, or in your office mail, and in amongst the clutter of bills, junk mail, and such, there was a greeting card from a friend? Think for a moment: how did that make you feel when you opened up the envelope and inside was a humorous, or touching note? I know I get a spark of excitement at the mailbox, when I see what appears to be a greeting card from a friend or relative. The anticipation grows as I go into my house to open up the card. I feel great knowing someone has taken the time to reach out to me, and has expressed something personal, something that two friends can share. This whole process of sending and receiving a card is a joyful experience. By sending a card, a person can feel the joy of brightening another's day, and building on their bonds of friendship. The philosophy is that you send out good, and the good returns to you. It's a wonderful "unselfish" way to feel good!
One of my favorite books is "You, Inc. The Art of Selling Yourself," by Harry and Christine Clfford Beckwith. Their advice is aimed primarily at business relationships, but I think this translates very well in personal relationships as well. They write about the unexpected card: "Millions of companies send their clients and valued business associates holiday cards. That's one reason you shouldn't. Instead, find special occasions throughout the year to write not twenty people, but just one at a time. Choose a time uniquely appropriate to the client. Birthdays are good, but a card that shows you know more about the person works much better. Try the day of their first child's birth, for example. or the day after their alma mater wins a big game.
The most vivid way to show someone that they matter is to take time. You do want them to notice. So, don't send expected messages at expected times. Send special highly personal ones at special times-times that are special to that person alone."
It's not just how you say thanks, but when and how well.
John, in his book "It's Only Earth," also talks about the value of friends, and how truly good friends add value to your quality of life. Think how those friendships, and business relationships will be 3 months, 6 months, a year from now, if you have reached out on a consistent basis and shared yourself with them, through the magic of a personal greeting card? As I share this with my friend John, maybe he will agree: there are 45 things you can do to change your life for the better.
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